Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
看完不得不感叹，也许能在影像里把女人和男人表现得那么有特色又有情有义的，只有上海了吧。
喜欢的，四星主要是都是方言削弱了我一部分理解。片子的小东西太多了，比如红拂夜奔，比如男孩美妆博主，比如三个女人第一次偶遇吃饭，比如充满哲学的修鞋匠，比如白辛苦不辛苦，比如三个人在画展厅的那场戏。嬉笑怒骂间好像没说什么又好像什么都说了。说爱情又不完全是爱情，我理解的是爱和情。白辛苦一场，但只要是自己想的，那就不辛苦。老乌故事中的女主角是谁早已不重要了，重要的是一定有那么一个人在你的内心深处。本片的女性群像刻画的相当丰满，对于男女性的探讨有深度又不冒犯。影片最后投影的灯光打在荧幕上，像在看电影，像在看你。
拖沓了拖沓了，人物可以砍掉一两个。oh by the way 房子哪能这么早过户的，他妈哈港八港，他妈脑子瓦特！
新欢旧爱与旧识新交的勾心斗角，
导演给自己刷三条5⭐可以吗？
不虐心，不狗血，不作不装，平淡得似乎什么都没发生，却时刻感受到风平浪静下的暗流涌动，很高级。喜欢这种上海独有的弥漫着咖啡味儿的烟火气，喜欢这里每一个孤独而有趣的灵魂，审慎，睿智，豁达，欲言又止，这才是给成年人看的爱情电影。
这是今年看到的最妙的华语电影。可以说，它是一个骨子里是欧洲电影的上海电影，也可以反过来说，它是一个骨子里是上海电影的欧洲电影。既有老派上海电影的精神，也有侯麦和伍迪艾伦电影的气韵。它妙在，就靠画家白老师为核心的几个人，一条街，一双鞋，一个画展，一部电影，几顿饭，一个亦真亦幻的爱情神话，螺蛳壳里做道场，却构成一个有时间感有空间感有回味的故事。也妙在，它没有传统的启转承合，而像是在生活里切了一段，结构却已经在里面悄悄藏好，故事启动力都很微小，却密不透风，腾挪跌宕，每一秒钟都敦实，像一个没有话剧痕迹的话剧。还妙在，所有演员都精彩，没有一瞬间的戏接不上，也没有一刹的情绪塌掉。最意想不到的是，那个关于索菲亚罗兰的梗，轻描淡写的铺陈，看似漫不经心，最后却成了整个故事最悠长的一部分。
滔滔不绝喋喋不休有如侯麦附体，但有些时刻又能看到杨德昌的影子，上海人均中产小资的岁月静好悠然自得的生活，相爱相亲的邻里关系也可以算是上海的城市宣传片。但哥萝莉呀这个角色不太立得住，美貌多金的富婆，为何要痴迷于发福的中年大叔?白老师那点才艺，美院的小鲜肉一抓一大把呢~这个角色除了出来陪笑逗趣也没别的作用了。说着要断舍离的李小姐，回头却又帮白老师联系画廊并约咖啡，不相信爱情神话的人，却亲手编织了一个爱情童话，她只是“短暂地不爱白老师一下”?还是编导为了追求戏剧效果而硬设的转折?整体更像是舞台剧探讨的主题，而不是在电影院里让我纳闷的片子。电影还没放完就开始说话，吃东西?TMD!不可饶恕!
《李小姐的高跟鞋》《她相好的就是北方人》《我编的》…维斯·安德森之后迎来伍迪·艾伦，中年男人的爱情与家庭碎一地…总之，恭喜徐峥老师找到全新口碑密码。
3.5。节奏和爱情小品的感觉很难得，只是不太喜欢背后的这份略带精致的小资底色。说是日常，烟火气却不太浓，可能因为这还不是我的圈子。
这是今年看到的最妙的华语电影。可以说，它是一个骨子里是欧洲电影的上海电影，也可以反过来说，它是一个骨子里是上海电影的欧洲电影。既有老派上海电影的精神，也有侯麦和伍迪艾伦电影的气韵。它妙在，就靠画家白老师为核心的几个人，一条街，一双鞋，一个画展，一部电影，几顿饭，一个亦真亦幻的爱情神话，螺蛳壳里做道场，却构成一个有时间感有空间感有回味的故事。也妙在，它没有传统的启转承合，而像是在生活里切了一段，结构却已经在里面悄悄藏好，故事启动力都很微小，却密不透风，腾挪跌宕，每一秒钟都敦实，像一个没有话剧痕迹的话剧。还妙在，所有演员都精彩，没有一瞬间的戏接不上，也没有一刹的情绪塌掉。最意想不到的是，那个关于索菲亚罗兰的梗，轻描淡写的铺陈，看似漫不经心，最后却成了整个故事最悠长的一部分。
《李小姐的高跟鞋》《她相好的就是北方人》《我编的》…维斯·安德森之后迎来伍迪·艾伦，中年男人的爱情与家庭碎一地…总之，恭喜徐峥老师找到全新口碑密码。
最好一场戏是两男三女第一次围桌，
啊张芝华！每次去上海好像都是住类似的地方……想起最后一次去上海也还是和某老师一起去的。。。电影很不错了，看得很开心，觉得每个女生的白眼都翻得超好的！
不过，当下除了文艺圈自嗨，又还能拍些什么呢？
完全是一部海派的伍迪艾伦小品，本影迷看得如痴如醉，对费里尼的致敬与调侃也于我心有戚戚焉。以及成年人之间哪里有所谓爱情，无非是在生活的烟火里点到为止，推拉进退，最后又自然而然。
一万六的鞋求个欢喜，不合适断舍离；
或许，沉闷的费里尼属于影院而不是投影，毕竟评分才7.7，而热闹的这一部则更适合约上朋友吃着火锅唠着嗑在电视上看。
将《爱情神话》比作伍迪·艾伦的电影，比作程耳的《罗曼蒂克消亡史》，比作金宇澄《繁花》所营造出的上海，真无语。后面三者都是艺术作品，前者乃泡沫“红茶坊”，中产“老娘舅”，然而还没有滑稽戏情景喜剧的烟火，只得其造景和片段式喜剧呈现的情节剧模式，倒拉低了后两者。把它说成是“升级版郭敬明”还差不多，因为人物之不接地气，对上海理解之想当然，满足的不过是“下支角民众”看法租界霓裳艳影的刻板眼光，“西宫娘娘烙大饼，东宫娘娘卷大葱”，我们农业社会的农民也是这样想象皇宫的。它的光滑和虚假，修鞋匠也喝着咖啡讲爱情哲学和一线品牌这种，啧啧啧，令人昏昏欲睡。
9/10。一群嘴上说着不相信爱情神话，内心却渴望爱情神话的人，其实并不是不相信，只是不相信会在自己身上降临而已。何不自己创造呢。有一说一，配乐真的一级棒！
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