Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
有没有人觉得里面换来的石头很像《妈的多重宇宙》里的石头？杨紫琼也正好参与了配音诶。这种类型的电影，可爱加治愈就完事儿！观影体验很轻松 ，可惜坐在后排的几个中国女生全程都在讲话，还开闪光灯摄屏，素质大概被狗吃了。
淦，直接被萌化了，果然搞笑动画还得看照明的小黄人。细节满分，恶人理想一以贯之，不忘初心了属于是。中国要素很多，我还很担心搞笑的都在预告或者是全片夺宝奇兵，但是一点都没有踩雷哦。继凯文，斯图尔特，鲍勃之后，第四个被记住姓名的小黄人诞生啦，其实我还是最喜欢Bob，吐烟圈什么的太可爱了，原来看着小黄人无所事事也可以这么快乐🍭🍭🍭。
Find your tribe and never let them leave
是平均每五秒都会被萌到一次的效率，有谁会不喜欢小黄人吗！
和我的comrade去了 sneekpeek 笑死
@Scotiabank Theatre 不过不失也没什么亮点，当然小黄人电影我们也不一定需要期待别的！萌就行了。片长很短，中式元素多归多但基本都是草草堆砌，也没有第一部对历史梗的黑色幽默改编，倒像是美西/旧金山风光片，可能最大的惊喜是杨紫琼，第二大的惊喜是结尾配了一段滚石做主题曲，别的，嗯嗯。
这电影太适合我这种英语废材了！百分之70都是minionese～(((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o)))
Minion传充分展现他们的搞怪机灵和不同的性格，心悦臣服让观众发笑. 完全不觉得有黑化和侮辱传统，本来就是被villains们利用了生肖石，不就是印证了力量落入谁手中，善恶结果还是要看谁来操作吗…太反应被❌的现实了
近期最治愈的爆米花片，看完心情都变好了很多！谁能拒绝可爱的小黄人呢
7.0/10 短小但不精悍的一部作品。片子充斥了对中国人乃至亚洲人的刻板印象，只能说还是想圈中国市场的钱，但是这波国内没上映让他们圈不到了。看看上次看小黄人好像已经是在2015年了，时间过得还挺快。87分钟的片长实在是有点儿短，剧情安排的很夸张很仓促，适合小朋友们去看，成年人带脑子看可能不会觉得很有趣，但谁还不是个小朋友呢～
2022-07-19一般吧，不过片方费这么大劲最后没进华语市场这枪躺得也是可怜
我不管，看到小黄人就是幸福感满满啊啊啊啊啊啊啊太可爱了太可爱了
片方很照顾受众…和他们的监护人，当 Gru 说「虽然 Vicious 6 不要你了，但咱俩可以组个 Terrible 2 嘛」时，影院里的爸爸妈妈们爆发出响亮的笑声。
很多致敬lmao 但是太多中国元素别舔观众啦
是好看轻松的！三番街车、中国城、Joshua 国家公园啥的都让人很有代入感. 影片里对黑胶情怀满满，对70、80年代风格各种致敬. 片尾中国风的反派又是好莱坞的拙劣模仿，见怪不怪了，片头中文主题曲的歌词也是毫无意义…中国大妈人设很有意思，小黄人们各条故事线也画的很清楚，然鹅除此之外剧情乏善可陈了. 一池子鳄鱼的动作戏加一星！
三星半吧。没有什么特别的曲折剧情，其实就是一如既往的小黄人系列发傻卖萌，虽然略显低龄但也足够让人开怀大笑了。ps，可以看出这部应该是为了中国市场加了不少中国元素，可惜估计一时半会儿也没机会了。
20220723 六本木hills ` 哈哈哈哈 no 哈哈 笑死
【糯米的第一步电影院影片】剧情有些无趣 除了小黄人的卖萌 基本无亮点 很多中国元素 插曲/中国功夫/针灸
一如既往的低幼卖萌，现场的小朋友笑的很欢乐
“没有人会拒绝单纯的快乐。”光是看小黄人整活就足够开心，但剧情实在是平淡到毫无感知了，以至于看完之后我还得非常仔细去回想到底讲了个啥。
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